If the modern world feels like a relentless storm of bad news, you’re not alone. Some turn to therapy, others to activism, and a select few channel their existential dread into… homemade robotic torture devices.
Enter Noir Bytes, a YouTuber with a flair for absurd self-inflicted punishment, whose latest experiment combines robotics, gaming, and a legally questionable amount of alcohol.
The Original Plan: A Saw-Style Fear Machine
Noir’s journey into robotic masochism began with an entirely different idea. The YouTuber originally set out to design a device that would choke him out if he got scared while playing a horror game—because nothing enhances a gaming experience quite like a near-death encounter.
Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you feel about personal safety), the contraption fell apart after two weeks of meticulous work.
“It was a big mess that made me doubt my abilities, and actually myself as a whole,” Noir said in his signature deadpan delivery. “That night, I went to bed sad, and I woke up, also sad.”
From Fear to Beer: The Alcohol Robot Is Born
After his Jigsaw-inspired project crumbled, Noir pivoted. Instead of engineering terror, he decided to focus on happiness—or at least, the two scientifically backed ways to induce it: video games and copious amounts of alcohol.
His new mission? To build a robotic drinking enforcer, one that would force-feed him booze as he played his favorite childhood game. Because nostalgia and intoxication go hand in hand, right?
Noir got to work, rigging a circuit board, a motor, two batteries, and a network of tubes to deliver beer straight into his system at the push of a button. The catch? The game itself would decide when he drank, randomly assigning different trigger keys every five minutes.
His game of choice? Gothic, a notoriously challenging RPG from 2001, known for its brutal mechanics and awkward controls. A game that, in Noir’s words, “already plays like I’m drunk.”
Man vs. Machine vs. Liver Function
Noir livestreamed the entire experience, where viewers watched him wrestle not only with Gothic’s punishing gameplay but also his own mechanical tormentor.
Every few minutes, the robot demanded another drink, forcing him to either adapt his playstyle or, quite literally, swallow his pride.
The result? A chaotic, slightly concerning, but undeniably entertaining experiment in gaming-enhanced inebriation.
The Latest in a Long Line of Self-Inflicted Suffering
For those unfamiliar with Noir’s work, this is far from his first act of robotic masochism. In previous videos, he’s built:
- A machine that slaps him for failing to solve a Rubik’s Cube fast enough.
- A device that zaps him when he makes mistakes in video games.
- And now, a beer-bot that ensures he never games sober.
Does the alcohol robot actually solve anything? Probably not. Did it make for an absolutely bizarre gaming experience? Without a doubt.
Whether Noir has cracked the code to happiness or just given his liver a new enemy remains to be seen. Either way, we’ll be watching—if only to see what bizarre contraption he builds next.
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