Often without realizing it, individuals without close friends tend to exhibit certain behaviors, note specialists. Having close friends is essential for our well-being. Studies have revealed that the effects of prolonged loneliness can be comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day (source). Recent research, especially after the covid-19 pandemic, shows a worrying decrease in social interactions for many people, with a significant drop in the number of “close friends.”
In summary :
- Impact of digital isolation: Experts like Swiss psychologist Thomas Spielmann highlight that excessive engagement in the digital world leads to missing crucial elements like mimicry, gestures, and sounds, resulting in superficial contacts and difficulty in recognizing others’ emotions.
- Recognizing signs of loneliness: People without close friends often display unconscious behaviors such as seeking solitude, struggling in conversations, being overly independent, emotionally unavailable, resisting change, fearing rejection, distrusting others, and lacking self-awareness.
- Seeking solitude: Consistently avoiding social events and gatherings may indicate underlying issues, limiting opportunities for lasting relationships and leading to a cycle of isolation.
- Overcoming loneliness: Addressing these behaviors involves improving listening skills, embracing change, overcoming fear of rejection, building trust, and developing self-awareness.
- Moving forward: Proactive steps like joining clubs, volunteering, and seeking therapy can help individuals build meaningful and lasting friendships, ultimately benefiting their well-being and health.
The impact of digital isolation
This phenomenon concerns experts like Swiss psychologist Thomas Spielmann. He explains that in the virtual world, crucial elements such as mimicry, gestures, smells, and sounds are missing, leading to superficial contacts. Spielmann notes that excessive engagement in the digital world can result in losing touch with others, making it difficult to recognize the emotions of others while focusing solely on oneself, increasing the risk of remaining friendless.
The digital age has transformed the way we interact, and while it has brought people closer virtually, it has also created barriers to physical and emotional connections. The lack of face-to-face interactions means we miss out on essential non-verbal cues like body language and facial expressions, which play a significant role in building and maintaining relationships. Over-reliance on digital communication can lead to misunderstandings and a feeling of isolation, even when we are constantly “connected.”
Recognizing signs of loneliness
People who identify as “without close friends” often display unconscious behaviors that affect their well-being and health. Here are some signs to consider:
Seeking solitude
If a person consistently avoids social events, gatherings, or daily interactions, it may indicate an underlying issue. This tendency limits opportunities to form lasting relationships. The desire for solitude can stem from a fear of rejection or past negative experiences, leading to a cycle of isolation that is hard to break.
Struggling in conversations
Some individuals might monopolize conversations or, conversely, not participate enough, making exchanges one-sided. Improving listening skills and balancing conversations is crucial for overcoming loneliness. Effective communication requires both speaking and listening. When one dominates the conversation or remains too silent, it can create an imbalance that discourages further interaction.
Overly independent
Highly independent people often refrain from expressing their emotions or seeking help, reinforcing their isolation. While autonomy is a valuable trait, it should not become a barrier to forming relationships. Independence can be a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability, but it also prevents the deep connections that come from sharing and mutual support.
Emotionally unavailable
Struggling to express or understand emotions, termed “emotional unavailability,” complicates social relationships. This can also lead to a lack of empathy, increasing distance from others. Emotional availability is critical for developing close relationships. Without it, interactions remain superficial and unsatisfying.
Resisting change
Reluctance to leave established routines can limit new encounters and experiences. Embracing change is vital for developing friendships. Change can be intimidating, but stepping out of one’s comfort zone is necessary to meet new people and create meaningful connections.
Fear of rejection
Fear of rejection can inhibit social engagement and accepting invitations. Overcoming this fear is essential for building meaningful relationships. This fear often leads to self-sabotage, where individuals avoid situations where they could potentially be rejected, thus preventing any chance of forming close bonds.
Distrust
Fear of betrayal or disappointment creates an invisible barrier to forming strong bonds. Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, and without it, genuine connections are impossible. Building trust takes time and effort, but it is essential for long-lasting friendships.
Lack of self-awareness
Poor self-awareness hinders understanding how one’s behavior affects others. Developing self-knowledge is crucial for improving relationships and forming genuine friendships. Self-awareness involves recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses, understanding how one’s actions impact others, and being open to feedback.
Moving forward
Researchers emphasize that not having close friends is not a definitive state. Solitude can also provide important moments of personal reflection. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward change, allowing for the development of deeper and more enriching friendships in the future.
It’s important to take proactive steps to address these behaviors. Joining clubs or groups with similar interests can provide a platform for meeting new people. Volunteering can also be a way to connect with others while contributing to the community. Seeking professional help, like therapy, can provide tools to improve social skills and emotional intelligence.
Understanding and addressing these common behaviors can pave the way for more meaningful and lasting relationships. Building close friendships takes time and effort, but the rewards for our well-being and health are invaluable. By being mindful of these behaviors and actively working to change them, individuals can overcome loneliness and enjoy the benefits of having close, supportive friends.
